Ben's Greatest Hits

Ben says the strangest stuff. He makes these comments at odd moments, in the most unlikely places. He doesn’t realize the impact of what he’s said until everyone in the family stops and stares at him, and then bursts out laughing.

We’ve compiled a list over the years of Ben’s Greatest Hits:

______________________________________________________________________

We are in line at The Dollar Store, buying 50 items that we really don’t need-- but, hey, they’re only a dollar! The usual sibling bickering is occurring behind me as we ring up dollar toys and dollar candy and dollar knick knacks. Libby is exasperated with her brother.

“Mama, why did you have to have another child? And why did it have to be a boy?”

Ben shot back. “So when we move to China and Mommy has to give you away, she’ll at least have one kid left!”


Ben has arrived home after his first day of kindergarten. He is regaling us with all of the events of the day.

“But the best part, “he says, “is that we had these great new cookies at snack time: Fig Mutants!”

________________________________________________________________________

We are arriving home after a trip to Wal Mart. As we pull into the yard, we notice that our beloved dog, Bobo (he died this year and we miss him a lot), is limping. Ben and I get out of the car to assess the situation.

“Ben, I can’t figure it out. Which leg do you think he hurt?”

He looks at Bobo carefully. “His front passenger side one.”

________________________________________________________________________

We are grabbing a bite at Zaxby’s. Ben wants to exchange his honey mustard dressing for ranch dressing to dip his chicken fingers into. He heads up to the counter and returns several minutes later.

“Ben, we already had ranch dressing at the table,” Libby said.

Ben throws his hands into the air. “Now you tell me! After I stood in line for then minutes and had to watch a man mating llamas!”

This made more sense when we turned around and saw the television hanging over the counter. It was tuned to a documentary about llama farming on Animal Planet.
__________________________________________________________________________________

Stay tuned for Ben’s Greatest Hits Volume 2. Libby will be the co-editor. Although she usually tries to ignore most of what Ben is saying, she comes to me now with something she just heard him say: “Mama, you have to put this one in the blog, too!”